List of Huntingdonshire Cabmen 24th January 2016

                              (A homage to JB Morten "Beachcomber" of the Daily Express)

The List of Huntingdonshire Cabmen week ending 24th January 2016:

Administrative Notice. All chapters are to note: list of names for consideration in the forthcoming quarterly review should be forwarded prior to the umpteenth of the month.

Awards:
1st gear
Vlad the Flatulent
Eresumus Tremor P. Triangular-Gramophone Snr III
Manfred Shingles-Plural
Wilberforce Wranglebum

2nd gear
Nicholas Tangent-Gastricband.
Frenella Fume-Extractorfan.
Count Cedric the Terrible of Sidcup and Lower Saxony third Goat herder in waiting to HRH the Queen of Nepal.

3rd grear
Lurgrund the Norsk.
Mable Dentfondler
Garfield Pressington Trousers


Birth - Marriage and Deaths:

Births:
Anthony and Mergatroid Prior-Offence a Son Bogwort 3lb 50p St Marginally-Strange community health care centre, Slumpted-in-the-pond. Middx. Blessing at St Gruntfords next wednesday. No confetti please.

Marriage
Mr and Mrs W. W. Doubleyou are timidly announcing the proposed union of their son Spoonbill to Miss Grace Over at the Scunthorpe registry office thursday 14th. Reception at the Gusset and Anchor 3 till 3-15 pm. Dress optional.

Deaths:
Major Glade-Bashford-Hound suddenly last thursday, Salisbury plain Artillery range. His teeth are to be interned at St Marmaduke the placid, Winterbourne-Hampers Dorset at a date to be fixed. Donations only please to Save the lesser crested Spoobill. PO Box 76 Bognor.

Admin:
Due to numerous requests for clarification to last weeks addendum to the main frame IT handbook Margaret Simpleton-Duckwit has been asked to pen the following notation:
"Not withstanding the manufacturers warranty it is suggested that the main frame access flux garnishing valve is disconnected prior to draining the sump flange steriliser in-port port.  

However, tampering with the Hyperhelix gander blaster could cause minor frabulation of the secondary scatterflutter pinion. Should this occur a short course of interflugal compression of the polymorphic prangle clutch will probably re-cynchronise the thermionic triode scrounger magnatron and allow re calibration of the extrusion discumflabulator by manual imput. 

Under no circumstances should the wizmognification sprocket be placed in any other position but at a tangent of 47 deg to the hypoid without first engaging the main frame flumax catch.