Administrative note:
1. Due to a illness the former chair person of the Cab steering group has been suspended due to back injury.
2. Amendment to the Rule book - Page 476 Paragraph 3b line six The Member may only be retracted when insertion has been completed etc. Should read Remember to retract the member from insertion in the pool.
There have been no nominations to the list approved at the general gathering this tuesday week. Only minor siblings having been considered for forwarding to the national congregational stampede which as we all know is penciled in for the third month after mid summer gallop to be held in the grounds of St Brenda's Home for the mildly stupid.
Club News:
All at Sea with the Virgin, Wigan Pier sub chapter are proud to announce nothing in particular happened last weekend at the annual bar-b-cu. There was thankfully no repetition of the unfortunate incident last year concerning Harold Hardley-Sane - third gear in waiting - in the Public urinal with Miss Sadie Endowment-Policy - 2nd gear.
Wombleton on Edge wish to announce that due to coastal erosion there next club meeting is delayed until the club house can be rebuilt further inland. Those wishing to help should bring their own lifebelt.
Births - Marriages - Deaths.
Births in a Ford Mondeo 1.8 G.L. on the M1 North bound A baby boy Matthew to Harry and Edna Spoonbill. Blessing at Leicester Forest East Services next tuesday. Full English Breakfast £35.89 plus vat.
Marriages
Mark and Angela Chapter-Six are reticent to announce the union of their daughter Marigold to Mr Geoffrey Gloves of Woxley-Cum-Sudden of Dorset at the Church of Are Souls, Going-Down-Dale. Reception at the Cooperative combined Civic Garden Center and Sewage Treatment Plant, Burst Drain in the vale. Kent on the next tuesday after this one coming monday.
Deaths
Sadly and without notice Lord Mandrake Van der Lump-Hammer Fifth gear and Musli Cluster KCB, VD, OBE, Gin and Bar, Late Bog Brush in Waiting to H.R.H. The King of Nigeria. Found expired in his Surrey out building following a prolonged period of constipation. Contributions to the Save the startled Mongoose society only please.
I.T.
Despite our best efforts to remedially update the maingusset sponge valve and thus re-set the frangible pile flaps the output guessometer still will not re-calibrate to plus or minus six giggasplods within tolerance. IT Managers are therefore advised that to ensure ability to back up lost data they must access the main panel sub frame furnace interface with the hyperbladder drive upper helix fixture socket and then tamper with the trapisoidal temperate bycential blaster gland. If the tolerance metere shows an increase of 56 snuff particles per second over the square route of a meat pie it can be removed eaten in the normal manner and this should allow normal operation of the main frame pentium odeometer to be re-set. Failing this just switch it on and off at the mains.
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