You just know about some people from an early age!

I once had responsibility for a young Teletubby by then name of Zoewinky. She was a rather interesting life form that lived with me at the time in a far off land at the end of the hallway. She had a delightful giggle, lovely peachy bum and big brown eyes... and still has.. As with all Teletubbys she had a thing about tubby custard, toast and although she would like to deny it cheese!  Frequently we would go foraging in the hills around teletubby land and create a world of mystery that only the very young and those about to have a stroke can understand. I remember the correct dress for these adventures was wellie boots, dungarees and teletubby hat. In the bag were Teletubby supplies of cheese and branston pickle sandwiches and marmite fingers, hulla hoops and of course that staple of all Teletubbys beaners.

We had no money and so everything had to be part of the adventure. Mother was Marbear and had a car called Motzi-Go-Faster and it was in MGF that Zoewinky had a tinkle while being held out of the window in a traffic jam on the M25. Zoewinky only ever cried twice.. Once when she stuck her fingers in a lamp holder to see what electricity felt like "made my eye urt" she smokingly reported later. and once when she danced in a big puddle and sank! Anything else like a trip to hospital for extreme horribleitus and the night of the leaking legs was taken in its stride.. Gutsy gal and still is. Never moans when she is ill, her mar makes up for that. Man flu has nothing on Marbear flu, which as everybody knows is far worse than Ebola.

Zoewinky's only weakness is needles and watching her pass out having a flu jab is one of my favorite memories... I had to practically carry her back to the car.. Bless.

I was thinking of Zoewinky today as I traveled back over the wolds to my house and upon negotiating a bend a tribe of stupid pheasants decided to ambush my car. My mind shot back to 17 years before and a similar situation in the back lanes of Oxfordshire when a pheasant dived into the headlight i had just replaced on my car.. I saw it jump out and knew there was no point in swerving, as the bird thudded into the light a little voice next to me said "Wanker". It was a special Teletubby word much used at the time by Zoewinky and Stevebear.

On another occasion I was in a cue at Tesco's and in front of me was this idiot going on and on about his coupons to a girl on the till who looked pale and going into shock with boredom. I looked at Zoewinky in the fold down part of the shopping cart in front of me and a message must have passed between our eyes for she said in a strong voice for one so small,  "Wanker". "Correct", I said.

Those were hard years for a lot of reasons. Years of Nuclear Stew and Brain Clot Pudding, Clothes from the charity shop and making everything part of a unique world that was special to us.

Zoewinky if your reading this. Thanks for being there, you really were a gift at times. You will never know how much you helped me put things back into perspective.  One day Ill tell you all about it. Till then hugs and kisses Zozbear and enjoy yourself. xxx