Grand designs channel four

I was watching this load of tosh the other evening mainly because there was nothing remotely interesting on and it was slightly better than Autumn Watch on BBC twice. Autumn watch is like Summer Watch, which comes after Spring Watch and soon we will be watching Winter Watch. Basically, they are all the same and if you wish you can duplicate the program simply by training a camera at your garden shed, painting it with Creosote and watching it dry.. You may wish to have a hanging basket adorn the door for summer watch and slowly kill off the flowers and chuck some leaves over the place for autumn watch.. You get the idea. Its very cheap TV and you can put the feed onto your PC in case you wish to catch up on whats happening to you shed at any particular time of year, or when you are on holiday.

Grand Designs is by far the more interesting program and is about couples with far too much cash who wish to go on TV and make a statement about how incredibly stupid they are and can get over basket case houses, change of use or new build structures. Mainly the plot is about a plot some idiot brought, spent years trying to get planning permission to turn lets say a water tower into a windmill with a five bed underground garage with a hot tub in each sail. This takes a decade or two and ends with the owners premature death through stress and poverty. I always howl at the presenters summary. Usually goes something like this:

"Well, Beatrix and Bamber Trembling-Mousetrousers have really given it their all in making this former public convenience and de-lousing station into a grand visage worthy of Royal patronage once more and I for one would be only too delighted to spend some time in and on it.

Its portcullis and grand balcony over looking the municipal baths steam pump room, I think, is to die for and above anything you would find in the coastal region of say Bridlington or further north. 

True, Bamber and Beatrix have spent their entire life savings and the sale of one kidney to pay for the court case against English Heritage over the removal of the 2000 year old listed grade 2 cesspit discovered when excavating the wash basins, But Im sure you will agree with me that once removed the back filling of the swamp although particularly onerous managed to get them back on that ten year plan and really paid off once the outbreak of cholera was under control. 

And......erm...... yes while the project sadly caused the break up of their marriage, the taking into care of their five children and a total loss of function in Beatrix's left side, it has not effected their sense of humor now that the property has been put up for sale at half the building price and temporary accommodation had been found for them. 

Nor has it daunted their willingness to settle out of court now that Bamber is slowly recovering from the attempt on his life by his estranged wife. 

BUT at the end of the day and when all said and done........It may have been a life changing challenge and many thought it dubious to take it on..... I have to say...... I think it works!