Happy Holiday in North Korea

Ahhh Now that is my idea of a fun holiday without a care in the world. Yes folks a holiday in North Korea. Think about the people you can impress. "Hi Mike we had a great time in NORTH KOREA this year" be the envy of your friends and survive a fortnight  with Club 18 to 30 Pyongyang.

Miles of deserted beach await you. Cleared of mines every morning by the local kids hop skip and jump team  to ensure your safety, but watch out for the little scamps playing "bury the enemy of the workers paradise alive" ha ha ha......erm.....yeah such fun!! .

There are many superb empty hotels to choose. From our workers paradise red star entry level hovel with hot and cold running wild life to our Premier Central Committee Class with optional cold water tap and electrical bugs fitted as standard and no extra charge. Our, attentive holiday reps are always eves dropping on your every word and only too happy to whisk you away on a magical mystery tour of old bunkers and municipal torture chambers should you wish....or not!

But, come on now its not all fun in North Korea. So, early to bed and early to rise for that bracing cold shower before a happy workers plate of lentil  gruel and a relaxing 2 hour physical re-education class. Then how about a hard sight seeing tour of one of our open cast dung heaps. there is nothing like a hard day laboring under a dear leaders son to work up an hunger.

As this is only day one perhaps the camp commandant will allow us to join the first daily death march back to our hovel  for a candle lit repast of fish heads and sawdust fu yung. But only if we score over 80 in our political re-education test..

And how about a little fun,  maybe if the electricity allows we can watch the radio before bed or listen to the TV.

On day two, three four and five your attentive holiday rep Who Flung Dat will escort us on a whirlwind tour of a workers correctional M&S undergarment facility with a factory outlet blocked to stop workers leaving early. Conversation with the workers is not encouraged and we are sorry if anybody is shot by mistake for trying.But time is pressing as indeed are the girls in the finishing and packaging department.

On the final night we will have a fiesta or Morris Oxford take us to the peoples roller ball disco tank fabrication facility for a demonstration of formation marching by the local Womens Institute.

We can sample there wonderful award winning rice cakes and lizzard crunchy clusters so loved by the happy masses before we all sing the Red Flag and call it a evening. In the morning discharge from the hotel will be at 0600 prompt and you are reminded that absence from roll call can be treated as desertion and is a capital offence. We hope you enjoy your stay with us and indeed your onward flight by catapult over the demilitarized zone back into South Korea.

Please remember to book early and that your life is at risk with no further charge during your stay..   I know I will be booking early for 2016 How about you?

                                                                     Good by!