Master of the Rolls Sir Cuthbert Mains-Watersupply. VWGTI Ikea Bsc and Metric Nuts.
Viscountess Violet Viscount-Firmly-Moist
Sid Slime no fixed abode.
After much deliberation Sid Slime was disqualified due to being disqualified from driving as part of the restrictions of his Asbo.
Viscount Violet Viscount-Firmly-Moist - Stood down after an altercation with a bystander during which an actual assault was occasioned upon her person by Mr. A.N.Other of 26,Marsupial Crescent, Widget-upon-Moore. Minor injuries was also sustained by a member of the Fire Brigade in getting Violet to stand down from the roof upon which following the assault Violet had taken up temporary residence. No further offences being committed it was thought best by the committee to release Viscount Violet back into the community and allow committal proceeding to go forward without further ado.
Therefore, it is with all due homage and respect that the Central Committee is proud to announce the new Chief Cabman for 2016-17 is the late Master of the Rolls and most worshipful Prune Sir Cuthbert Mainspring Charles Windward Islands Stanley Clementine Mains-Watersupply VWGTI and Bars DSO, DFC MFI PTSD and Dr in modern DIY.
Recently received notice of the sad demise of Lady Helen Necromander-Otterbland-Smyth (see pic) DFC KFS ans Spoon, late 3rd Gear (Hon Colonel Huntley and Palmers Mounted Madrigal Rifles) in bed following short illness last Tuesday surrounded by her wolf pack.
Born to Lord and Lady Otterbland-Smyth suddenly in Venice occasioned by a short burst of violent flatulence, following which Lady Otterbland-Smyth took to her bed for over a year in shock. Lady Helen's early life revolved around the pond in the family herb garden. This early fascination with all things circular may have been the foundation for her later studies of gold fish bowls at Cambridge. Her BSc paper on the effects of centrifugal force on gold fish was hailed by Prof Alopecia Toupee as "The finest waste of time by a student in Cambridge History" and "far beyond anything i have ever wished to know on this - thankfully under investigated topic" by Sir John Tomas head of sub aqua studies at Bath University.
With the outbreak of World War Two Lady Helen volunteered for Service with the First Aid Nursing Yeomanry becoming one of the youngest FANY's in the service, with whom she did sterling work first as a paper weight and following security clearance, she provided sterling service as a door jam in the cabinet war room. It was here that she was noticed by Winston Churchill, who promoted her to be in charge of all the other FANY's in his service.
In 1944 it was noted that she spoke passable mandarin and due to and admin error joined the French Section of SOE. Parachuted into France dressed as a Noodle saleswomen she was discovered in Lyon wondering the streets starving having lived on her samples for weeks. Following capture, the Gestapo never got an understandable word out of her, mainly because of her strange upper Manchurian dialect. So well did she confuse the Germans that she was repatriated by the Swiss Red Cross on compassionate grounds. This was a first for the Gestapo and immediately led to an award of the Distinguished Service Order and a temporary stay in Wanstead Sanatorium for the very confused.
With the end of the war Lady Helen could be found most lunch hours wondering around a small pond in Hyde Park. One day she was joined in her ruminations by Norman Wenslydale Necromander a part time spoon bender, vocal supporter of pond life and founder of the Gold Fish Club. It was a whirlwind romance and her society wedding at the Broadmoor Chapel (by special Home Office Licence) was the talk of the inmates for weeks. Harry the Crusher Carter was the best man and absconded with the chief Bridesmaid Miss Pandora Aero-Heriodicus-Bent shortly after the soup course.
A firm supporter of the Local Hunt Lady Helen often ran with her own Siberian Wolf Pack for many years. County life reported on her firm stand on country matters in 1954 entitled "Lady Helen's Firm Country Seat wins hearts and Minds"
They had four children. Two of which survived the christening and subsequent rearing by the family wolf pack. The family title now passes to her eldest son Wolverine.
A memorial Service will be held in the Municipal Baths Brighton next Wednesday after the first Monday in the month subsequent to hight tide at Worthing. No floral tributes please. Donations to Wolves have hearts too.
In other news:
IT notice:
The first weekly annual meeting of the Megabrain main frame installation steering committee sat this week and of primary concern is the flange seating plan for the Direct Inpedence Charged Kilodrome (DICK). If the Dick is not seated correctly in the flange there is a high probability of DICK oscillation that could cause significant prolonged longditudinal atmospheric stereophonic hyponics (Splash). Please ensure that you avoid DICK SPLASH by anchoring you flange during installation.
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