Thursday, 25 February 2016
The life of a Tabby Cat name Percington P. Pusscat. Or Percy to his mates.
It must be nearly 20 years ago now, when we decided that it would be a good idea to have a cat and so the four of us (two adults and two kids) paid a visit to the local RSPCA cat rescue center. Naturally the girls wanted to save them all, but one stood out literally above the rest. Sat on a perch disdainfully surveying the herd meowing for attention below was a stocky cocky almost mockingly reserved Tabby who held my gaze totally as I walked by. One look into that steady gaze told me this was a cat above the rest, a cat able to look after himself. Something special. We made the right noises and got not just the Tabby but a lovely little small girl cat who sadly died a week after we got her home, leaving the tabby, who after much thought we named Percy Cat. He liked people to a point and would take just so much fuss and then watch out and he spent most of his time out and about doing whatever it is cats really do. Even on the coldest or wettest night he would have to be called in for his own good. He was not feral as such, but damn close at times. Funnily he suited us fine and joined our wandering band of minstrels in our odd journey through life.
I think all told we moved six times and Percy graciously deemed fit to tag along. A simple cat with simple needs his rules were also basic. Feed me, get lost when I tell you to and save me if I call. The rest of the time Percy got on with his patrols of his grounds and punishing any other cats, rats or vermin that dared to intrude. In the role of guardian their was none better and when we lived on a farm for a year or more he loved nothing more in life than to be left alone in a barn with a stack of hay to lay on and a pack of country rats to fight. his numerous minor flesh wounds and tattered ears showed his battle honors. So, impressed was the farmer he offered money for Percy saying he had never seen a better "Ratter". I had to agree; I had once watched him dive off the top of the hay bail head first into10 or so rats and his speed in dispatching his quarry was simply amazing. The Rats thought so too; those that survived!
Percy was an adventurous chap and many times managed to get locked into a garden shed or someones car. I remember I was once in the back garden and could hear him Meowing away and I kept calling back until I found him in a shed two gardens away. I think we formed a bond really, as it was always me he would pad to if there was something wrong, I was the only one who could comb him and twice when he was very seriously ill it was me who found him, but my wife who took him to the Vet. Lisa loved him as did Zoe and Tasha, but Zoe it was who fed him and let him in on cold nights. Many the time i can remember hearing Zoe's voice out of her velux window calling softly "Percy......Percy... Ah there you are, come in its cold" and the little fellows meowing as he came in and settled on her bed for the night. Those two had a bond and it was Percy and Bob who knew all Zoe's secrets. Bob is our Cocker Spaniel whom we rescued from a very nasty women who was going to put him down. Bob soon found his place in the house following his first meeting with a swift right cross from Percy. Ever after that when Percy came in Bob lay down. Wise dog. In the main they rubbed along just fine by totally ignoring each other.
Eventually old age got the old lad and he was put down in Lisa's arms and buried in a bit of a sun trap in the back garden and wrapped in a nice war blanket. He was a great cat and a bench mark by I measure all other cats. He was a very English Tabby was Percy..
Thursday, 18 February 2016
Blatherwick - En - Croute Gazette
Welcome to our first Parish Monthly Newsletter. Please forward any items you wish to be published at least one Tuesday before the next Thursday unless Wednesday is earlier in which case thats fine. We are particularly interested in any stories concerning village life and of course events etc. So, without further ado:
Future Events for your diary.
Every Sunday - St Catherine's 10 am sharp the Vicar Rev Shirley Knott Will be conducting the orchestra in weekly worship. Sunday school has now been combined with the Weekly Youth Club in the village hall held every second Wednesday - 6 pm till 9. Bring your own child please. We draw the line at arson so please dont give the little darlings matches.
Women's Institute:
Village hall Thursday 7 pm sharp. Principle Mrs Grace Glandular-Fevorr M.B.E. Chief Jam Pot in waiting to the Coven. Please bring any items for the fifth coming Bring and Buy sale in aid of The Willows Donkey Sanctuary and Tea Rooms. This years theme and cause for great domestic concern is "custard skin" in the home.
President - Muriel Hunter-Bystander will be coordinating.
Vice President - Margo Leominster-Shagpile
Events Coordinator. Nancy Evidently-Feeble
Membership Secretary and Treasurer July Authorised.
The Village hall weekly roster:
Monday Lunch for the elderly has been cancelled following the theft of the tea spoons. PCSU Urban Beat Officer Mustapha Leak - Reports investigations are on going alongside the theft of a tea service from the Vicarage prior to the Vicars cancelled tea party.
Tuesday Yoga 10 till 11 am.
Margery Mongoose-Smyth and Pippin Huntingcombe-Bumble will be encouraging us once more this year. Their "Lion Face" relaxation therapy rightly has been the talk of the village and for only £2 a session is most excellent value for those with joint issues and the mildly mute. There is no truth in the rumor that Misty Pringleton facial contortions has in any way been caused by her attendance last year at yoga. Medical investigations are on going as this newsletter is being compiled and we wish her a speedy recovery from whatever it is that causes whatever it does for however long it may be.
Tuesday Jazzercise 2 pm 3 or exhaustion - whichever is sooner.
Penny Prune and Penelope Squid will be leading the Jazzercise once more. Villages are encouraged to remember the autopsy report concerning Martha Prenderghast's most unfortunate death was attributed to cerebral concussion and not being hit on the head by Willy Dents foot during last tuesdays free style kung-fu line dance sequence. Still, remarkable value for only £2 a session. Bring your own defibrillator.
Tuesday - Ladies Choral Society 7 pm till 10 pm
Ms Principle Lead will be conducting again this year following the groups majestic production of Pearl Harbor The Musical last year during the village fete. A little Birdie reports we can expect something even more monumental this year. Readers may recall, The local Huntingdon Express theater critic noted "this truly will stand as one of the most authentic battle sequences and war musicals ever enacted by a amateure group. Will IWas goes on, "I was moved to tears when Mrs Sheila Spoonbill (playing the USS Arizona) was struck by a torpedo fired by Mrs Brenda Slovene (playing a Japanese Torpedo plane) exploded and sank in the duck pond causing substantial blast damage to the green house of Mr T. Brown to the rear of the duck pond. The subsequent panic soon abated and we are all most impressed by the fact that Sheila survived intact thanks to her substantial under garments. Plucky gal! Spontaneous applause broke out and many tears were shed when the survivors regrouped at the end of the show to take a final bow before conveyance to accident and emergency. Amazing so few died really!". Here here say we all.
Wednesday - Village and Parish coffee morning 12 till 3 pm.. Please do not miss this weekly social gathering, so enjoyed by all. Should you feel the need to help please volunteer to join our loyal band of ladies and gentlemen who perform so splendidly in the running of this well attended event - well, it keeps one fit! Should you wish to help please contact Bronwynn Evans at the Old Post Office to arrange a pre medical and sign the insurance disclaimers. This years proceeds are to go to Help for Herons.
Wednesday - Evening Bible reading 6 ill 8 pm.
The Methodist Bible and Spoon bending group welcome all comers to this weekly contemplation of the good word from the good book. Entrance is free but exit costs £3. This week Kathleen Quietly-Dim and assistant lay chief vocalist Ms Faith Fartington-Ovenwear-brown will be concentrating (weather permitting) on the place of cod in fish and chips vs haddock as a artistic style choice in modern post war biblical art. Any readers who may understand how this fits with modern faith should call for psychiatric help immediately, or attend the above group. Last weeks contemplation entitled "Jove who drove to shrove tuesday and lent his ass on ash wednesday", was well received by the usual plaintiffs. Mable Claggwort has since been released on her own cognition from safe custody following her sectioning last week by PC Hill after Mable lost the plot ripped off all her clothes and ran around chanting "Peas Pudding Peas Pudding Peas Pudding" much to the amazement of the junior net ball team on the court outside. Kathleen and Faith have promised to not over spice the fruit cake again.
Thursday - Deaf awareness. 10 till 11 am.
Mandy Mainbrace will be repeating her lecture on how to over come communications difficulties with the hard of hearing. Those with sensitive hearing should bring hearing protection or stand some distance away from the hall.
Thursday - Lonely ? 1 till 3 pm. Speaker to be notified.
Thursday - Youth Club 7 till 10 pm. Bring your own youth and club. Cricket bats are provided for those wishing to youth club in a more traditional manner. No formal training is required and its fun for all the adults.
Friday - Indoor sand yachting. 10 till 12 am. Please allow one hour either side for beach construction and the clean up.
Friday - Book Club 2 till 4 pm. Miss Edwina Limp will be discussing 50 shades of grey and its impact on indoor sports. Those of you who have recently read the book and may be still tender can find cushions in the store behind the black board.
Friday - 4 pm till 5 pm. Great Crested Newt Support Group. Following the sad news that the Stop the Blatherwick Bypass scheme failed in its attempt to have the bypass work halted Marigold Gloves and her able companion Denby the Coockerdoodle will be on hand to protect the Highfield farm pond where in lie those bastions of the deep the great crested newt, until a new home for them can be found. We know that many of you have slaved at the barricades and resisted the onslaught of the
bulldozer with tremendous zeal. And none more so that Ariadne Bloomergust who shortly will sadly start her five year term in the Scrubs for possession of an offensive weapon and criminal damage to a JCB. I know many of you found her talk on home made anti tank weapons very useful last month. However, the battle is now to save the great crested newt and move them to speedy sanctuary. All those with a garden pond wishing to support this great cause can do so here. Please come to our next meeting. Weapons should be handed in at your nearest Police station.. Thank you.
Saturday 10 -12 am. Coffee morning and breakfast in support of the Bee keeping for the blind.
Saturday 1 till 3 pm Midwifery for beginners. Please bring your own towels, three pieces of string and a pair of scissors.
Saturday 7 till 11 pm. Village Pub. Stella off this week so you will have to put up with Mildred again! Sorry and the full contact Domino final has been postponed till further notice those wishing to continue this sport are requested to do so in the car park.
Notices:
Martha Rampant of the Dwelling High Street would like to thank all those who sent their sympathy on the death of her Hamster Alan from exhaustion in his wheel a couple of weeks ago.
Lost and found:
Lost: Husband.. Hardly used. limited mileage, full service history. Anyone seeing him should direct the stupid old bugger home to Anne Maples 2 Dews Court. Last seen in the Dog and Duck. Responds to the name Arthur or Arsehole.
Tuesday, 9 February 2016
List of Huntingdonshire Cabmen Special Notice 9th February 2016
The extraordinary general council of worshipful Cabmen met in secret session at their secret head quarters last night at 23, Orchard Crescent, West Ham Sandwich, Kent, KN12 1UN. Telephone: 0817 65231 just behind the Heavenly Sedated Lizzard in a Basket,Chinese take away on the High Street.
By a majority of 4 to 3 the motion was passed and will be enacted the day after Shrove Tuesday, or Ash Wednesday, but before Beach Thursday and no later than Oak Friday.
Her Most Worshipful Excellence Archdeconese Lady Constantine Ocelot-Vole DFS, IKea and Bar was audited for passing the port the wrong way around and censored to one months TV remote confiscation. Remedial sentence is to be concurrent with her care in the community radio tagging order and ASBO. Anyone seeing her wondering aimlessly around West Ham Sandwich are to report her location to the dog warden immediately.
Entry was later graciously allowed for the new High Worshipful Non-Synchromesh Members to pass into the low chamber. Enthroned were:
Master I. Blaster of Tavistock
Herman Crest-Fallen of Westphalia
Clarence Tremendous-Burk and his wife Almighty
Witherington Dither-Bladder
Spencer Spoonbill-Benttrousers
IT News:
Following complaints of exploding triophonic gander frames and a near fatal subtaneious flabber gland extrusion incident at our Middleton-Ganderwick sub office it has been decided that no further remedial action will be taken with the Megga Brain 500 series currently in service. Replacement systems will be forwarded following the usual ten year tendering, field trials and prolonged negotiations.
Births Marriages and Deaths
No one did any of the above.
However, Mrs Violet Chemical-Additive nee Smyth-Fumble reported in our May issue as the recently demised spouse of Colonel Turgid Wetherspoon Chemical-Additive DSO, OBE blah blah blah and bar. Was pronounced dead at the Goose in the Gusset Inn, Give it one in the Gorse, Oxon. Last tuesday week following a very one sided and brief intercourse with a large Riley 1500 ( property of A. Bent-Fender) in the pub car park. However, this was wrongfully reported, being based soley on her lack of breathing. It later transpired she was simply stunned and came around during the pudding. Our sincere thanks are extended for Violets remarkable recovery. Anyone wishing to see the autopsy report are directed to last months copy of Horse and Hounds for sale column.
Mrs Violet Chemical-Additive in happier times.. Get Well soon Violet. (Picture taken during her rehab last June following her much publicised gin problem!!!) Game Gal!
By a majority of 4 to 3 the motion was passed and will be enacted the day after Shrove Tuesday, or Ash Wednesday, but before Beach Thursday and no later than Oak Friday.
Her Most Worshipful Excellence Archdeconese Lady Constantine Ocelot-Vole DFS, IKea and Bar was audited for passing the port the wrong way around and censored to one months TV remote confiscation. Remedial sentence is to be concurrent with her care in the community radio tagging order and ASBO. Anyone seeing her wondering aimlessly around West Ham Sandwich are to report her location to the dog warden immediately.
Entry was later graciously allowed for the new High Worshipful Non-Synchromesh Members to pass into the low chamber. Enthroned were:
Master I. Blaster of Tavistock
Herman Crest-Fallen of Westphalia
Clarence Tremendous-Burk and his wife Almighty
Witherington Dither-Bladder
Spencer Spoonbill-Benttrousers
IT News:
Following complaints of exploding triophonic gander frames and a near fatal subtaneious flabber gland extrusion incident at our Middleton-Ganderwick sub office it has been decided that no further remedial action will be taken with the Megga Brain 500 series currently in service. Replacement systems will be forwarded following the usual ten year tendering, field trials and prolonged negotiations.
Births Marriages and Deaths
No one did any of the above.
However, Mrs Violet Chemical-Additive nee Smyth-Fumble reported in our May issue as the recently demised spouse of Colonel Turgid Wetherspoon Chemical-Additive DSO, OBE blah blah blah and bar. Was pronounced dead at the Goose in the Gusset Inn, Give it one in the Gorse, Oxon. Last tuesday week following a very one sided and brief intercourse with a large Riley 1500 ( property of A. Bent-Fender) in the pub car park. However, this was wrongfully reported, being based soley on her lack of breathing. It later transpired she was simply stunned and came around during the pudding. Our sincere thanks are extended for Violets remarkable recovery. Anyone wishing to see the autopsy report are directed to last months copy of Horse and Hounds for sale column.
Mrs Violet Chemical-Additive in happier times.. Get Well soon Violet. (Picture taken during her rehab last June following her much publicised gin problem!!!) Game Gal!
Monday, 8 February 2016
Winter Spaniel
Im not sure what it is about Working Cocker Spaniels. They can either win the final of Master Mind contest when it comes to getting what they want, or can become the most stubborn animal on Gods earth, when it comes to doing something they do not wish to do. They however above all else fabulous company and total idiots when the mood takes them. I have one called Bob and every morning starts with my socks being stolen and a good old wonder around to ensure the house is as it should be. Then if we are going out he just pushes me around to get ready faster and if not, he will sit outside my study sniffing and humphing away in displeasure till its time to go out.
This week it has been very rough outside with storms piling in from the Atlantic and pounding the shore and sadly five whales were driven up on the beach and died. Many theories have been expounded as to why, but probably its just one of those things and the sadder for it. The wind off the wolds has also been severe and we are without our car this week, The impact of no car means we have had to go on local walks around the village, much to Bobs disapproval. No trips to the beach and no trips out usually means he gets a mood on and come evening will growl and kick off for no good reason until i go to bed. Yes... he complains if i stay up late, by walking up and down the stairs huffing and puffing when he thinks its time to go.
He is a really amazing and the most obedient dog I have ever known. I have only ever put a lead and collar on him if I know there are cars around. The rest of his life I have let him follow me and I work on the principal that he is not stupid and does not need a collar.. Im mean its self evident he knows who he is right! In this he has never put a foot wrong by answering to another name but Boo. He has only one major down falling and it is cars. He will get into anyones given half the chance of a drive out somewhere. The other day he jumped into the back of the Post Office van and would not get out.. He hid in there with the Parcels.
This week it has been very rough outside with storms piling in from the Atlantic and pounding the shore and sadly five whales were driven up on the beach and died. Many theories have been expounded as to why, but probably its just one of those things and the sadder for it. The wind off the wolds has also been severe and we are without our car this week, The impact of no car means we have had to go on local walks around the village, much to Bobs disapproval. No trips to the beach and no trips out usually means he gets a mood on and come evening will growl and kick off for no good reason until i go to bed. Yes... he complains if i stay up late, by walking up and down the stairs huffing and puffing when he thinks its time to go.
He is a really amazing and the most obedient dog I have ever known. I have only ever put a lead and collar on him if I know there are cars around. The rest of his life I have let him follow me and I work on the principal that he is not stupid and does not need a collar.. Im mean its self evident he knows who he is right! In this he has never put a foot wrong by answering to another name but Boo. He has only one major down falling and it is cars. He will get into anyones given half the chance of a drive out somewhere. The other day he jumped into the back of the Post Office van and would not get out.. He hid in there with the Parcels.
In other news. My dear friend in Germany has recently been forced by stress to retire after 20 years of working with refugees. She cannot take the pressure of working with the new influx of refugees who have come into Germany of recent weeks. I know the feeling, it was the pressure of working with refugees in Bosnia that bust my blood pressure. My friend reports a minor crime wave has broken out and the local population is bordering on open hostility toward the new arrivals who ironically are mostly from anywhere
but Syria. No doubt we have not even begun to hear the end of this miss guided media driven story.Why the UN did not create safe havens inside Syria straddling the border with Turkey is beyond me.The did it with the Kurds and it worked a treat. Didnt work too well in Bosnia mind you.. Better anything than this exodus that could very well cause much problems in the future on so many demographic and indeed Tribal levels.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)