Slang

I was talking to a fellow vet the other day and we laughed over the choice slang we used and are still used in the forces. It originates from every continent the British Armed Forces served in and some of it is hysterical. Here are some of the phrases we could recall. This is in no way an exhaustive list:

Food:
Scran generic term for anything edible (army)
Munguz believed Malay term for food (RAF)
Machan - ditto- RAF
Schnellie - German quick food outlet "Schnell Imbiss" (Army/'RAF) were they sell Bratties and poms. "Bratwurst and Pom Frites"
Scoff or Yaffle (Royal navy)
Lumps (army)
Lumps Brown (stew)
Lumps Green (salad)
Lumps Yellow (pudding)
GEB  Greasy early breakfast
Growlers - Sausage (RN)
Yaffle Spanners - Knife fork and spoon (RN)
Diner manglers - Ditto - Army
Fitters and Turners - Cook (army) "Turn good food into shit and fit it into a tin"
Cabbage Mechanic - Cook (RAF)
Brew (tea)
Nutty - chocolate bar (RN)
Banjo - Fried egg sandwich (army)
Wad - Cake various - (Army)
Mystery Stew - just put everything in and see what happens - All three services.
Not to be confused with Nuclear Stew. This is made by cooks in time of war or stress:
Corned beef
tinned veg
tinned toms
oxo cubes many
brown sauce enough to dull the senses
any fresh veg knocking about and I mean any.. I once found a red peper!!!
Stew the crap out of it and wallah Nuclear stew.. Nice if your freeze your arse off in minus 40 Norway. If your in the desert empty a tin of curry powder in it.
Babies heads - steak and kidney pudding (Army)
Pom - Dried mashed potato - Excellent for thickening anything from stew to custard.. Anything!
Hexi - Small cooker that uses solid blocks of heximine tablets to make a brew, dinner, six course banquet and make your mess tins go black.
Bacon Burgers - Tin of flavored lard with animal residue in suspension. Best discarded or you will be burping it back all day.
Bacon Grill - To die for  - eat from the tin or miss with beans for that true gastonomique experience. Bacon grill is also divine on biscuits dog. Best kit in the compo range. My ex wife loved it too.
Chocolate powder drink.. Good if thickened with Pom. To make Navy Coco empty a good few Chocolate powder packets into a pot simmer with milk powder, water, custard powder (to thicken) or pom and a couple of chocolate bars or Mars bar. Then add a good measure of Navy Rum. Can save a life in cold weather.
Herrings in - Sardines in tomato sauce - (Navy
Herrings not - Sardines in oil - (Navy)
Ghandi's Revenge - Any curry - (RAF)
Desert Chicken - Corned beef - (Army)
Chi - tea - Probably Chinese.
cheese possessed -  processed cheese (Army/RAF)
Dog biscuits or hard tack - very hard biscuits that defy any amount of gnawing and can lead to dental failure.
Chinese wedding cake - Rice pudding with raisins (RN)
Vin rouge - Tomato Sauce (RAF)
Vin Brun - Brown Sauce
Nose bag - Packed lunch (Army)
Horror bag - Packed Lunch (RAF) usually 2 sandwiches (cheese and mustard or ham, cheap crisps, penguin or similar cheap chocolate bar and bottle of panda cola. I was once told off for telling the cabbage mechanic off for giving our position away by discarded half eaten cheese and mustard sandwiches.
Screech - lemon powder (Army) Not to be left in the sun can self-combust in direct sunlight.
Screech Challenge - Mix a packet into your water bottle, allow to stand in sunlight all afternoon, then put on your respirator and attach drinking tube to the top of your  water bottle. Result usually is yellow explosion in you face mask and your eye pieces turn yellow.. Hysterical to watch from the outside.

Note;
All Service Chefs are without doubt the best chefs in the world. They can make the best food under conditions that would make civilians faint. I once saw a cook in Central America produce sunday roast with yorkshire pudding and apple pie and custard for 400 troops in 100% humidity and I have no idea what the temperature inside his tent was... I have seen them produce full English breakfast in Norway in temperature so low the trees were bursting. They are simply Gods and I have been very happy to have them with me.

On the other hand without a cook and on compo rations things could get interesting and it is surprising what you can knock up with a 24 hour ration pack.

More some other time.